You sit in your car, the steering wheel cool against your palms, and your heart pounds with every passing second, and you take a route towards home with a deep, cold breath. You feel a sense of dread. You wonder which face of your wife, mother or sister you will find today.
To your neighbors, she is the star of the community in every event. She is bright, kind, and helpful. People tell you that you are lucky to have such a lady with you.
But when the front door shuts, the warmth disappears. You know such a person who demands constant praise and offers nothing in return, yet it is important to know that not everyone who desires praise exhibits full-blown narcissism.
These female narcissist traits can show up in small ways, in what some might call “toxic moments,” before turning into more harmful habits. When someone is always focused on themselves and will not change, it can become a serious problem that needs help and understanding.
These are the signs of a female narcissist. This type of person is hard to spot because she often pretends to care and be responsible. Watch for warning signs that show who she really is.
Some main behaviors are
- Love-bombing, where she gives too much attention and affection to control someone later.
- The silent treatment is used to control and punish others.
- She carefully manages how she looks to always seem perfect and hide any mistakes.
Noticing these habits can help you see and understand the effect of a female narcissist.
At Orange Coast Psychiatry, we see many people who are hurt by these harmful people in their lives. You are not imagining things, and this is not your fault. Your pain is real. We will help you learn how to handle these people with expert help and advice. Notice the signs and find your way back to feeling better.
The Hidden Nature of the Narcissist Traits in Females
Men can be narcissistic too, but women often show these traits in quieter or less obvious ways than men do.
Recent studies show that 4.8% of women who show narcissistic traits are more likely to be affected by male narcissists. For example, December 2020 in Personality and Individual Differences found that female narcissists often get involved with male narcissists because they both admire and try to control each other. This phenomenon is known as assortative mating.
While men with these traits often brag about money and power, women may show them in other ways. A female narcissist might act like a caring mother, a victim, or a ‘perfect’ friend to control people around her.
She does not always yell. Sometimes, she uses silence. She might use a sigh or a look of disappointment to make you feel guilty. She wants the world to see her as a saint or a martyr. Because she acts so well in public, you might feel that no one will believe your side of the story. This isolation is part of the problem. It keeps you stuck in a cycle of doubt.
This is all because she has a narcissistic personality disorder. This is one of the 10 personality disorders that shows characteristics of need for admiration and lack of empathy. You can say, a self-obsessed personality.
Types Of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Narcissism is a personality trait that includes grandiosity, entitlement and a lack of empathy. It is usually divided into two types:
- Grandiose Narcissist
- Vulnerable Narcissist
Grandiose narcissism shows up as extraversion, dominance, and a need for admiration.
Vulnerable narcissism, on the other hand, involves introversion, sensitivity, and psychological distress.
Most earlier research has focused on grandiose narcissism, which is more often seen in men. However, there is less information about how these traits of a narcissistic woman appear.
Key Signs Of A Narcissistic Woman
To protect yourself, you must observe the patterns. Here are the behaviors that define this personality type.
1. A Constant Need for Admiration
A narcissistic woman craves praise like a person craves food. She wants you to notice every small thing she does. If she cooks a meal, you must say it is the best meal ever made. If she finishes something at work, she expects a big fuss.
Wanting some recognition is normal when it goes both ways and is fair. But when she feels she deserves praise and gets a cold or angry attitude from you, it becomes a problem for her. She does not care about your success unless it makes her look good.
2. Extreme Envy and Competition
She views other women as threats. She might talk badly about her friends behind their backs. She compares her looks, her house, and her children to those of everyone else. If a friend gets a new car, she will find a reason to dislike it. She often tries to outdo her own children. If her daughter is pretty, she might make comments to lower the girl’s confidence. She wants to be the center of the room at all times.
3. Lack of Real Empathy
Before talking about the problems, it is important to say that when someone in your life does not care about your feelings, it can really hurt. Noticing your own feelings in these moments is important for healing and moving on.
This is the most painful trait. She cannot truly feel what you feel. If you are sad, she makes the conversation about her own stress. If you are sick, she complains that your illness is a burden to her. She might act “kind” when others watch, but she does not really care about your pain. She uses your secrets and fears against you when she is mad.
4. The Role of the Victim
When a narcissistic woman does something wrong, she turns things around. If you tell her that she hurt your feelings, she will cry. In return, you will receive a response that you are mean or that you do not appreciate her.
Suddenly, you find yourself apologizing to her, even though she started the fight. She uses guilt to stay in control. But noticing these patterns is the first step to taking back your own story. By seeing through the tricks, you can start to break free, stand up for yourself, and become stronger.
Why Do Female Narcissists Act This Way?
It is important to know that her behavior is not your fault. You did not cause this, and you cannot fix it. Most experts think this kind of personality starts in early childhood. Maybe she had a parent who was distant or too strict. She put up a tough front to protect herself.
However, her past does not give her the right to hurt you. You can care about what she has been through while setting limits to protect yourself. She probably hides a deep sense of shame under her big, showy behavior. But you cannot love her enough to make her change. Change must come from her own choice to get help from a professional.
Seek Professional Help
Seeking and getting help from a professional can make a big difference for your peace of mind when dealing with a narcissistic relationship.
Therapists and counselors are trained to give helpful advice and support as you work through dealing with these personalities. With their help, you can better understand your feelings, actions, and how you talk to narcissists, which can lead to better and more fulfilling relationships. These professionals also create a safe and friendly place for you to talk about your thoughts and feelings. They also help you learn those skills that are needed to improve your relationships and feel better overall.
How To Reclaim Your Peace Of Mind?
To find peace of mind is the first step. Remember, you are not alone in this struggle, facing a female narcissist in any relationship. Your effort shows your strength. You don’t have to stay in fear or confusion. There are things that you can do to make a change.
Find a support, like a professional therapist who understands narcissism well. A good therapist can support you without judgment and guide you towards healing. They can help you remove past memories and face a new approach to dealing with a narcissist. You need someone to remind you what is normal and to be on your side.
Think of therapies that help both your mind and body, as these can help you feel more balanced and improve your well-being. Every step you take for yourself brings you closer to emotional freedom and reminds you that your well-being is your own.
How Orange Coast Psychiatry Can Help?
At Orange Coast Psychiatry, we specialize in personality disorders. We help those in relationships with narcissists, as well as narcissists who are ready to change.
Recovering and healing from the emotional pain behind narcissistic patterns needs more than just basic help. For a woman with narcissistic personality disorder, treatment should focus on deeper wounds, often caused by trauma, lost connections, and being emotionally left out.
Our personality disorder treatment gives a safe and structured place for this kind of deep healing.
Our team offers a safe space in Orange County for you to speak your truth. We use modern science and deep compassion to guide you. We teach you how to set boundaries and help you rebuild your confidence. You deserve a life full of respect and real love.
Trauma-Informed Therapies
Many of a narcissist’s personality traits are the result of childhood traumas, which is why our treatment uses proven, trauma-focused methods that help with understanding emotions and building better relationships.
By making sure each therapy has clear results, we make sure the healing is based on evidence, both with an effective and supportive approach.
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)
DBT helps people manage their emotions, handle stress, and find better ways to deal with relationships. One of the key skills in DBT is “opposite action.” For example, if someone feels like isolating themselves when they are sad, the opposite action encourages them to take a step, like going to friends. This encourages them to break unhealthy relationships and choose actions that align with their long-term goals. DBT has been shown to reduce emotional distress as measured by improved self-reported emotional regulation score.
Group Therapy
This type of therapy gives real-life chances to see how people interact, get feedback, and learn how to connect with others in a safe and fair way. People in these groups often feel happier in their relationships and more confident when socializing.
These therapies work together to help women change defensive habits into understanding their feelings, taking responsibility, and learning new ways to connect with others.
Contact Orange Coast Psychiatry today to schedule your first session. Take the first step toward your new beginning. Reach out now to start your journey to a healthier, happier you.
