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How to Stop Thinking About Someone?

How to Stop Thinking About Someone?

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All of us have been in love at some point in our lives, and sometimes that love has taken us to places from which there is no coming back. At what point do we consider love to be too much? This is what we are going to discuss in the words below. The subject matter relates to answers on how to stop thinking about someone, and while we’ll also be talking about the overactive mind. Let’s begin.

The “Why” Behind We Obsess Over Some People

Not all love stories and friendships end with obsession. But sometimes they do, and they can be extremely unhealthy, especially if the other person is not into reciprocating that love with you. This feeling can sometimes be positive as it can gradually fade as the initial infatuation, heightened excitement, emotion, and passion temper into a steadier state of love (Lorber et al., 2015).

When your infatuation is getting out of hand, it is not only unhealthy for the other person, but it can also be intrusive, distressing, and disruptive. You feel that you can’t get someone off your mind, whether that person is a new crush or someone else. You can obsess over someone, and your brain can go into overactive thinking mode due to other reasons as well, not just out of love. These are:

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  • Fascination with what they do and how they do
  • Great impression of them due to their accomplishments
  • You are keen on the qualities that they possess
  • There are similarities in how they were brought up, life stories, and goals
  • You feel connected to them in one or another way. It feels like a deep connection

We are essentially in the realm of an overactive mind whenever our object matter (the person we obsess over and over again) steps into our stimuli. But the reasons we have described above lead to your obsessions, or are there underlying factors playing a role? It usually is much like the latter.

Factors That Play A Role In Overthinking Someone Else

If you are asking questions such as how to stop thinking about someone, then the reasons that we have discussed above may have some running factors at play that lead to them. Let’s talk about them:

Attraction

Attraction also comes in different shapes and sizes, which is maybe the underlying factor underpinning the fact that you are not able to stop thinking about someone. It can be physical, emotional, romantic, sexual, and even intellectual (Randomsky et al., 2014). It, at times, also relates to the question of how to stop thinking about someone.

Read More: A Guide to Understand Anxious Attachment

Attachment

One underlying factor that might be providing reasons for your obsession with someone else could be attachment. Attachment doesn’t mean that you have to be in a romantic relationship with someone, as attachment can exist between friends and family members. You might feel attached to a boss, mentor, teacher, or even a celebrity. The kind of attachment style one has can also factor into someone finding reasons to get attached to another person. One of these attachment styles can be the anxious/insecure attachment style that frequently turns on the endless cycle of over-analysis and overthinking about someone, often leading to brain racing at night or even an overactive mind all day long (Read, 2018).

Underlying Mental Conditions

Obsessive thoughts revolving around a person are considered to be a manifestation of symptoms that are often seen as symptoms of certain mental conditions. Some of these are listed below:

Read More: Can Anxiety Cause Chest Pain and Shortness of Breath?

Anxiety

Do you remember how we discussed attachment styles, with one of them being anxious styles? This type of attachment frequently leads to anxiety about abandonment, commitment, and general relationship stuff when it comes to their significant others or the person they are attached to. Additionally, people’s generalized anxiety disorder can be exacerbated when they are obsessed with someone, and excessive worry about the health and safety of loved ones can also rise (Newman et al., 2013).

Low self-esteem

People who are not able to seek connections and approach due to their low self-esteem can become preoccupied with or procrastinate about the person they want to approach and seek a connection with. This can often lead to depression, in addition to obsession.

OCD

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a type of mental illness that is characterized by its symptoms, called obsessions (repeated thoughts and images) and compulsions (repetitive behaviors) that the individual engages in to get over the obsessions. Usually, a condition like this focuses on the fears from which the obsessions stem, but OCD can also focus its obsession on certain individuals (in a variant called relationship-OCD (ROCD)).

Read More: OCD in relationships: Understanding, coping, and supporting each other

What Can We Do About It?

If you are thinking of how to stop thinking about someone obsessively​, especially if the underlying problem is a mental condition, then you can seek treatment for it. You can use one or a combination of these after a consultation with an expert:

Psychotherapy

It means talk therapy. It is where an expert from the field can talk to you or the affected individual to find resolutions for the underlying problem and educate them. If it can help with something like schizophrenia, then obsession is an easy game.

Psychiatric Medication Management

A monitored form of the medication that is prescribed for ailments such as ADHD and panic disorder.

Telepsychiatry

An outpatient version of psychiatry, it can be used for flexibility and affordability.

Read More: Understanding The Different Types Of Trauma

Wrapping Up!

Now that you know how to stop thinking about someone, it is time to seek treatment such as the ones mentioned above, which you can seek at Orange Coast Psychiatry! It is not only adept at treating issues like OCD but also other things, such as mood disorders like bipolar disorder. You have to seek treatment if lifestyle changes such as exercising and getting good sleep aren’t helping.

Frequently Asked Questions

Seek professional support or make lifestyle changes to get rid of the underlying problems.

Due to anxiety or abandonment issues about them, while having low self-esteem or an underlying mental ailment, can also contribute to your obsession with someone. 

Letting go of the past and focusing on self-care, such as seeking therapy.

Reference and Footnotes
  1. Lorber MF, Erlanger AC, Heyman RE, O’Leary KD. The honeymoon effect: does it exist and can it be predicted? Prev Sci. 2015;16( 4):550-559. doi:10.1007/s11121-014-0480-4
  2. Radomsky AS, Alcolado GM, Abramowitz JS, et al. Part 1—You can run but you can’t hide: Intrusive thoughts on six continents. Journal of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders. 2014;3(3):269-279. doi:10.1016/j.jocrd.2013.09.002
  3. Read DL, Clark GI, Rock AJ, Coventry WL. Adult attachment and social anxiety: The mediating role of emotion regulation strategies. PLoS ONE. 2018;13(12):e0207514. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0207514
  4. Newman MG, Llera SJ, Erickson TM, Przeworski A, Castonguay LG. Worry and generalized anxiety disorder: a review and theoretical synthesis of evidence on nature, etiology, mechanisms, and treatment. Annu Rev Clin Psychol. 2013;9:275-97. doi:10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-050212-185544
  5. National Institute of Mental Health. Obsessive-compulsive disorder: When unwanted thoughts or repetitive behaviors take over.

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Jackson Tea

MSN, PMHNP-BC

Administrative Director and Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner

Jackson Tea, MSN, PMHNP-BC, serves as the Administrative Director and a board-certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner (PMHNP-BC) at Orange Coast Psychiatry. Dedicated to breaking the stigma surrounding mental health, Jackson is passionate about providing compassionate, evidence-based care that empowers individuals to take charge of their mental well-being. His expertise includes comprehensive psychiatric assessments, personalized medication management, and behavioral health interventions designed to help patients achieve the best possible outcomes in their mental health journey.
Jackson’s approach to care is rooted in the belief that mental health is just as vital as physical health. He focuses on creating a supportive, judgment-free environment where patients feel heard, valued, and understood. By offering individualized treatment plans tailored to each person’s unique needs and goals, Jackson helps clients overcome obstacles such as anxiety, depression, mood disorders, and other mental health challenges.
He holds a Post-Master’s Certificate as a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner from National University, a Master of Science in Nursing in Nursing Administration from the University of Phoenix, and a Bachelor of Science in Nursing from California State University, Los Angeles, where he earned Dean’s List honors. As a member of the Sigma Theta Tau Honor Society of Nursing, Jackson remains committed to advancing mental health awareness and promoting high standards of care in the field.
In his role at Orange Coast Psychiatry, Jackson leads clinical operations while ensuring regulatory compliance and delivering high-quality care. His core competencies include psychiatric assessment, evidence-based interventions, crisis management, clinical leadership, and risk mitigation. Above all, Jackson strives to make mental health care accessible and effective for everyone, supporting individuals in making meaningful progress, improving their quality of life, and achieving lasting well-being.

May Faustino

Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioner-BC

May Faustino, PMHNP-BC, is a compassionate and highly skilled psychiatric provider with over four years of nursing experience, including three years specializing in psychiatric care. She holds a Master of Science in Nursing from West Coast University, where she received extensive training in managing the psychiatric needs of pediatric, adult, and geriatric populations, as well as providing therapy and counseling services.
May has worked in diverse mental health settings, including forensic psychiatry at the Department of State Hospitals and behavioral health services at Aliso Ridge Behavioral Health. Her clinical expertise spans psychiatric assessments, medication management, and trauma-informed care, with a strong focus on treating anxiety, depression, and trauma-related disorders.
Bilingual in English and Tagalog, May is dedicated to serving diverse patient populations with a culturally sensitive approach. She is trained in evidence-based therapeutic modalities such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and motivational interviewing and is well-versed in trauma-informed care and suicide prevention strategies.
May is passionate about promoting resilience and recovery through preventive mental health care and individualized, holistic treatment plans. Her commitment to excellence is reflected in her memberships in the American Psychiatric Nurses Association and Sigma Theta Tau International Honor Society of Nursing.
In her personal time, May enjoys fostering mindfulness and well-being through activities she loves, such as spending time with her husband and their two beloved cats, Pippy and Eva.

Dr. Montgomery

M.D. – Psychiatrist

Dr. Torri Montgomery, M.D., is a board-certified psychiatrist with the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology, with a subspecialty board certification in forensic psychiatry. Dr. Montgomery is an integral part of our Management Team as a Psychiatrist and Supervising Psychiatrist for our Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioners here at Orange Coast psychiatry.
Dr. Montgomery earned her Bachelor of Science (Magna Cum Laude) from Arizona State University and her Doctor of Medicine (M.D.) from The University of Arizona, College of Medicine. She completed her psychiatry residency at Los Angeles County Harbor-UCLA Medical Center. During her psychiatry residency, Dr. Montgomery completed a year-long certification in Electro-Convulsive Therapy (ECT), earned a certificate from the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) to prescribe medication for the treatment of substance use disorders, and worked in a Medication Assisted Treatment (MAT) clinic for substance use disorders. Additionally, she was appointed Chief Resident and received an Excellence in Teaching award.
After psychiatry residency, she completed her Forensic Psychiatry Fellowship at the University of Southern California, Keck School of Medicine. After completing her fellowship, Dr. Montgomery has worked in public psychiatry for the Los Angeles County Department of Health Services. She teaches, consults, and treats individuals with depressive disorders, anxiety disorders, trauma-related disorders, and serious mental illness (SMI), such as schizophrenia spectrum and bipolar disorders. Her experience includes outpatient, inpatient, emergency, consult liaison, addiction, dual-diagnosis, and forensic psychiatry. She is an expert evaluator on the Superior Court of California Panel of Expert Psychiatrists and Psychologists. Dr. Montgomery is an attending physician for the Harbor-UCLA Department of Psychiatry and serves as a psychiatrist with Orange Coast psychiatry.

Dr. Ravi

M.D. – Psychiatrist

Dr. Dave Ravi, M.D., is a Board Certified Psychiatrist with additional qualifications in geriatric psychiatry. Dr. Ravi is an integral part of our Management Team as a Psychiatrist and Supervising Psychiatrist for our Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioners here at Orange Coast psychiatry.
Dr. Ravi graduated from Virginia Commonwealth University (B.S., Magna Cum Laude), VCU School of Medicine (M.D.), Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center (Residency in Psychiatry), and John. A. Burns School of Medicine (Fellowship in Geriatric Psychiatry). He currently is a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at John A. Burns School of Medicine in Honolulu, HI and serves as a psychiatrist with Orange Coast psychiatry.
Dr. Ravi is a dedicated community psychiatrist with extensive experience in public, correctional, inpatient and outpatient settings, and an experienced tele-psychiatrist. He consults on topics in general psychiatry, including quality improvement, treatment planning, and crisis management, and in correctional psychiatry, including recovery-oriented treatment for individuals with serious mental illness and dual diagnosis. His current and future interests focus on understanding the various approaches in managing the suffering and disturbance of complex psychiatric disorders, particularly in the use, misuse, overuse, and misrepresentation of psychotropic medications.

Dr. Irwin

M.D. , Ph.D – Psychiatrist

Dr. Scott Irwin, M.D., Ph.D., is Board Certified Psychiatrist. Dr. Irwin is an integral part of our Management Team as a Psychiatrist and Supervising Psychiatrist for our Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioners here at Orange Coast psychiatry.
His career mostly focuses on improving outcomes for those with cancer or other progressive, potentially life-limiting illnesses, and their families, through leading-edge clinical services, ongoing research, as well as program development, improvement, and implementation.
He is widely published, has been recognized at many levels for his research, teaching, consulting, and clinical endeavors, and has received research funding from the NCI, NIMH, the National Palliative Care Research Center, the Archstone Foundation, and industry.
Dr. Irwin earned his Bachelor of Science from the University of California, Los Angeles, and both his MD and PhD (neuroscience) at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign. He successfully completed his psychiatry residency at UC San Diego as chief resident of Outpatient Psychiatric Services, as well as a two-year elective in hospice and palliative care at San Diego Hospice and The Institute for Palliative Medicine. He is a diplomate of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology, with subspecialty certification in psychosomatic medicine.

Richard Samedra.

Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioner-BC

Richard Samedra, PMHNP-BC, is a Board Certified Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioner. He brings over 12 years of experience in the mental health field, working with clients facing a wide range of acute and chronic mental health conditions. His journey began as a Licensed Vocational Nurse and Charge Nurse at Westminster Therapeutic Residential Treatment, where he supported clients dealing with anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and substance use disorders. Richard’s dedication was centered on helping these individuals improve their mental health and transition to a lower level of care, whether that meant returning to their families, a board and care facility, or a sober-living environment.
Motivated by a growing passion for mental health care, Richard pursued his Registered Nurse (RN) education at Saddleback Community College and later transitioned to La Palma Intercommunity Hospital Behavioral Health. In this role, he specialized in geriatric psychiatry, working with older adults experiencing conditions such as Parkinson’s disease, dementia, depression, and anxiety. This experience solidified his commitment to mental health, leading him to work at Bellflower Community Hospital, where he provided care for patients experiencing severe psychiatric crises, including suicidal ideation, manic and depressive episodes, substance use disorders, and exacerbated schizophrenia symptoms.
Inspired by the impactful work of PMHNPs at Bellflower, Richard enrolled in the Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioner program at Azusa Pacific University. To broaden his expertise, he worked full-time at College Hospital Costa Mesa while completing his studies. There, he gained comprehensive experience across various units, including adolescent, acute men’s and women’s, stabilization, and detox/med-surg. Now, as a PMHNP, Richard is committed to leveraging his diverse background and knowledge to provide compassionate, comprehensive care to those in need.
Richard currently practices as a Nurse Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioner at Orange Coast Psychiatry, where he is supervised by Dr. Montgomery.

Shaheena Gazipura

Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioner-BC

Shaheena Gazipura is a board-certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner (PMHNP-BC) with over 9 years of dedicated experience in both inpatient and outpatient mental health care. She earned her Master of Science in Nursing from Western University of Health Sciences in Pomona, California.
Shaheena began her career working on an adult psychiatric inpatient unit before transitioning to the geriatric psychiatric inpatient unit at USC Verdugo Hills Hospital. In addition to her clinical work, Shaheena also serves as a Nursing Clinical Instructor, guiding the next generation of nurses through their mental health rotations at a large community college.
Shaheena is a passionate advocate for mental health, believing that it is a fundamental pillar of overall well-being. She is committed to reducing the stigma surrounding mental illness and strives to provide comprehensive, compassionate care that honors each individual’s unique experiences and challenges. Her goal is to create a supportive, nonjudgmental environment where patients feel empowered to work alongside her in achieving their mental health goals.
Outside of her professional life, Shaheena enjoys exploring new culinary experiences, staying active through exercise, and planning her next travel adventures.
Shaheena currently practices as a Nurse Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioner at Orange Coast Psychiatry, where she is supervised by Dr. Barrios.

Clint Nacar

Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioner -BC

Clint Nacar, PMHNP-BC is a Board Certified Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioner. Mr. Nacar graduated from Charles R. Drew University of Medicine and Science. Currently Mr. Nacar works in an inpatient psychiatry unit at a leading academic medical center in Los Angeles, Renewed Mental Health Group, and Orange Coast Psychiatry
Mr. Nacar brings over 7+ years of experience with the mental health population. He works to help patients take control of their mental health through patient education, psychotherapy and medication management. Mr. Nacar’s areas of focus include: Depression, Anxiety, Adjustment Disorder, Bipolar disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Mr. Nacar treats children ages 6+, adolescents, and adults, offering both in-person services and telehealth at Renewed Mental Health Group.
With the collaboration of each patient, Mr. Nacar strives to develop individualized plans of care addressing each patient’s unique situation and concerns. He also encourages each patient to take charge of their mental health through a holistic approach while also employing the latest evidence based practices in treatment.

Clint is one of our most experienced Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioners at Orange Coast Psychiatry and is 103NP Licensed in the State of California.

Cristian Cuevas

Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioner-BC (Fluent in Spanish)

Cristian Cuevas, PMHNP-BC, is a highly skilled board-certified psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner with over seven years of experience in inpatient psychiatry and mental health.
A California State University Long Beach graduate, Cristian also earned recognition as a board-certified psychiatric mental health registered nurse. With a wealth of expertise in adult psychiatric care across the lifespan, Cristian has successfully diagnosed and treated a diverse range of mental health disorders.
Additionally, his specialized experience in child and adolescent inpatient populations further enhances his ability to provide comprehensive and compassionate mental health care.
Cristian Cuevas is the Lead Nurse Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioner at Orange Coast Psychiatry and is supervised by Dr Barrios.

Mina Cheriki

Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioner-BC

Mina Cheriki is a masters-prepared Registered Nurse (RN), certified Clinical Nurse Leader (CNL), and a board-certified Psychiatric and Mental Health Nurse Practitioner (PMHNP). She brings nearly a decade of experience within the healthcare industry, particularly within the fields of nursing, mental-health, education, research, and leadership. She obtained a Bachelor of Science degree in Health and Rehabilitation Sciences, followed by a Master of Science degree in Nursing at The Ohio State University.
Rooted in the highest quality of evidence-based practice and informed by a holistic, collaborative, person-centered approach, Mina’s clinical skillset encompasses psychiatric assessments, medication management, psychotherapy, and education. Her clinical focus covers symptoms and conditions related to depression, anxiety, panic, mood imbalances, attention/concentration deficits and hyperactivity, executive dysfunction, life transitions, acute stress, grief, trauma, and more. Additionally, Mina has experience in providing ketamine-assisted therapies and Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) for mental health.
Coming from a family of immigrants, Mina is familiar with providing culturally-, religiously-, and spiritually sensitive care while also maintaining efforts in delivering highly therapeutic communications. Furthermore, she continues her commitment in providing evidence-driven care and in upholding standards of quality by remaining active in organizations such as the American Psychiatric Nurses Association and the Sigma Theta Tau International Honor Society of Nursing.
Above all, Mina is committed to empowering her clients throughout their journeys toward recovery and well-mindedness. More specifically, she uses her combined knowledge and passions for physical and mental health to assist her clients toward achieving a lasting balance between the mind, body, and spirit.
Aside from her dedication to providing mental health care, Mina also enjoys exploring nature and hiking, making photography and art, as well as spending quality time with friends, family, and her dog, Kona.

Dr Barrios

Board-Certified Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist

Dr. Carlos Barrios is a Board-Certified Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist with over two decades of experience in mental health care. His expertise in telepsychiatry has allowed him to serve patients across California and beyond. In his practice, Dr Barrios integrates metabolic and functional methodologies, focusing on guiding patients toward medication independence and emphasizing the connection between physical and mental health.
Outside of his professional life, Dr Barrios is passionate about kettlebell training, which helps him maintain my physical and mental wellness. He cherishes visiting his family in Guatemala, to reconnecting with his cultural roots and rejuvenating his spirit. Dr Barrios is also deeply involved in transcendental meditation and rucking, practices that not only provide him with tranquility but also keep him grounded and connected to nature. These hobbies reflect his commitment to a holistic approach to health, both personally and professionally.