All of us have been in love at some point in our lives, and sometimes that love has taken us to places from which there is no coming back. At what point do we consider love to be too much? This is what we are going to discuss in the words below. The subject matter relates to answers on how to stop thinking about someone, and while we’ll also be talking about the overactive mind. Let’s begin.
The “Why” Behind We Obsess Over Some People
Not all love stories and friendships end with obsession. But sometimes they do, and they can be extremely unhealthy, especially if the other person is not into reciprocating that love with you. This feeling can sometimes be positive as it can gradually fade as the initial infatuation, heightened excitement, emotion, and passion temper into a steadier state of love (Lorber et al., 2015).
When your infatuation is getting out of hand, it is not only unhealthy for the other person, but it can also be intrusive, distressing, and disruptive. You feel that you can’t get someone off your mind, whether that person is a new crush or someone else. You can obsess over someone, and your brain can go into overactive thinking mode due to other reasons as well, not just out of love. These are:
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- Fascination with what they do and how they do
- Great impression of them due to their accomplishments
- You are keen on the qualities that they possess
- There are similarities in how they were brought up, life stories, and goals
- You feel connected to them in one or another way. It feels like a deep connection
We are essentially in the realm of an overactive mind whenever our object matter (the person we obsess over and over again) steps into our stimuli. But the reasons we have described above lead to your obsessions, or are there underlying factors playing a role? It usually is much like the latter.
Factors That Play A Role In Overthinking Someone Else
If you are asking questions such as how to stop thinking about someone, then the reasons that we have discussed above may have some running factors at play that lead to them. Let’s talk about them:
Attraction
Attraction also comes in different shapes and sizes, which is maybe the underlying factor underpinning the fact that you are not able to stop thinking about someone. It can be physical, emotional, romantic, sexual, and even intellectual (Randomsky et al., 2014). It, at times, also relates to the question of how to stop thinking about someone.
Read More: A Guide to Understand Anxious Attachment
Attachment
One underlying factor that might be providing reasons for your obsession with someone else could be attachment. Attachment doesn’t mean that you have to be in a romantic relationship with someone, as attachment can exist between friends and family members. You might feel attached to a boss, mentor, teacher, or even a celebrity. The kind of attachment style one has can also factor into someone finding reasons to get attached to another person. One of these attachment styles can be the anxious/insecure attachment style that frequently turns on the endless cycle of over-analysis and overthinking about someone, often leading to brain racing at night or even an overactive mind all day long (Read, 2018).
Underlying Mental Conditions
Obsessive thoughts revolving around a person are considered to be a manifestation of symptoms that are often seen as symptoms of certain mental conditions. Some of these are listed below:
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Anxiety
Do you remember how we discussed attachment styles, with one of them being anxious styles? This type of attachment frequently leads to anxiety about abandonment, commitment, and general relationship stuff when it comes to their significant others or the person they are attached to. Additionally, people’s generalized anxiety disorder can be exacerbated when they are obsessed with someone, and excessive worry about the health and safety of loved ones can also rise (Newman et al., 2013).
Low self-esteem
People who are not able to seek connections and approach due to their low self-esteem can become preoccupied with or procrastinate about the person they want to approach and seek a connection with. This can often lead to depression, in addition to obsession.
OCD
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a type of mental illness that is characterized by its symptoms, called obsessions (repeated thoughts and images) and compulsions (repetitive behaviors) that the individual engages in to get over the obsessions. Usually, a condition like this focuses on the fears from which the obsessions stem, but OCD can also focus its obsession on certain individuals (in a variant called relationship-OCD (ROCD)).
Read More: OCD in relationships: Understanding, coping, and supporting each other
What Can We Do About It?
If you are thinking of how to stop thinking about someone obsessively, especially if the underlying problem is a mental condition, then you can seek treatment for it. You can use one or a combination of these after a consultation with an expert:
Psychotherapy
It means talk therapy. It is where an expert from the field can talk to you or the affected individual to find resolutions for the underlying problem and educate them. If it can help with something like schizophrenia, then obsession is an easy game.
Psychiatric Medication Management
A monitored form of the medication that is prescribed for ailments such as ADHD and panic disorder.
Telepsychiatry
An outpatient version of psychiatry, it can be used for flexibility and affordability.
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Wrapping Up!
Now that you know how to stop thinking about someone, it is time to seek treatment such as the ones mentioned above, which you can seek at Orange Coast Psychiatry! It is not only adept at treating issues like OCD but also other things, such as mood disorders like bipolar disorder. You have to seek treatment if lifestyle changes such as exercising and getting good sleep aren’t helping.
